The BrainLids Method©
Eradicate your inner critic using brain science.
Copyright © 2018 by Lidia Obregon
The BrainLids Method© is an iterative method. What the heck is that?
Iterative (adj.): involves repetition of steps to achieve the desired outcome; the results of one round of steps are used as the starting point for the next round of steps
Now this is very important to keep in mind. You will not go through The BrainLids Method© once and be done with it, unless you are a god and, in that case, call me (480)-562-8209. For us normal humans, we will have to go through the method various times to achieve the desired outcome. What is that outcome? A complete eradication of your inner critic. What will this result in? Using your brain to its fullest potential. Every time you go through the method, it is best if you chose one thing to focus on (i.e. one bad habit or one negative thought pattern). Conquering them one at a time has the best odds for success. If you don’t like iterations (repetitions of the same thing over and over again), you are more than welcome to do it all at once. This will just involve a deeper and longer process, which is by no means any better or worse than doing it repeatedly. I just know at least for me, I have had to go through this method various times to achieve my desired outcome.
This method is not for those who want to put a bunch of fluff and Band-Aids over the bad and ugly parts of themselves and their lives. This method is for those who are tired of suffering and feeling like they are constantly waiting for “that thing” to feel happy. “That thing” is never coming. I don’t care how much you argue it, if you base your happiness on something external, you will forever be unhappy. This method is for those people who are sick of drowning in their thoughts every single day, for those who are tired of being anxious in social situations, for those who don’t understand why everything in life seems to be “going against them”. I used this method myself to get out of the pits of suffering. This suffering was extremely ugly. We’re talking panic attacks, OCD, anxiety, and more. Where the hell did this all stem from? My infamous inner critic. This inner critic is a huge asshole. I didn’t realize that my extreme self-analyzation and self-judgement would turn into such a toxic habit, but it did, and I used this method to get out of it and break it. So join me. Ask questions. Tell your friends to do it with you.
What you will get out of this method is a complete eradication of your inner critic, that voice that tells you you’re not good enough, smart enough, or capable enough. You will no longer be an ass to yourself. Why should you care to eradicate your inner critic? Because that means you can do absolutely anything you set your mind to in life without the fear of being demeaned or judged. How can you feel judgment when you don’t even have an inner critic that will listen to those toxic words? It is absolutely freeing. I have never felt freer in my entire life and I can only imagine how I will feel 10 years from now. It is so extremely refreshing and liberating to finally be nice to yourself. So start today; not tomorrow, not when things get “bad again”, but today. Even if you think you’re fine and dandy, I promise you, you have some fears and bad habits that rear their head when the going gets tough. It is so much easier to deal with the method when you are in a state of calm, clear-headedness and life isn’t bulldozing you.
For the purpose of getting this method out to you guys as organized as possible, I’m going to only go through each step once, but in great detail over an extended period of time. We’ll start with the first step and slowly move through all 6 steps. If you are confused, message me. If you want me to help you, message me, or even call me. Ideally, I would sit with you and go through the method step-by-step to help you get a more thorough eradication of the inner critic (eventually). There are plenty of people who have gone through this method in their own shape or form. Every person who succeeds at eradicating their inner critic has their own ways, and I have learned from them and created my own in the process. To them I am grateful.
This, is The BrainLids Method. Just a few key terms before we get started:
o The white frosting: your original, pure, healthy & happy brain free of the inner critic.
o The red food dye: the inner critic’s poison.
o The red frosting: your brain dyed by the inner critic’s poison.
o The whisk: that CEO inner voice that you use to talk to yourself every day.
Without further ado…
Step 1: Be aware.
The frosting is white, not red.
The first step to the method is very simple. You just have to be aware. Aware of the fact that you have two different brain states. One brain state that is made up of white frosting (pure, healthy, o.g., clear-headed brain), and one brain state that is made up of red frosting (muddled, toxic, scary, mean-as-hell brain). Our brains are meant to stay in the white frosting state. We are not supposed to have negative, destructive thought patterns that make us anxious, scared, and depressed. For most of your early years on earth, your brain was made up of white frosting. You went about your days happy as a clam and you were never mean to yourself. Picture a bowl of white frosting. Now imagine there is a drop of red food dye in it. This red food dye is the poison of the inner critic (that mean voice in your head that judges everything you do and will never shut up). Something happened when you were younger that first dropped the red food dye in your bowl of white frosting (your pure original brain). It could’ve been any negative comment or punishment from a friend, teacher, or parent. Now though this one drop of red food dye doesn’t immediately spread throughout the whole white frosting, what do we tend to do with a drop of food dye in a huge bowl of frosting? We feel a strong urge to want to mix it in.
That’s when the whisk comes in. You can think of the whisk as the CEO voice in your head. The whisk represents the day-to-day self-talk that never stops. At first that initial drop of the red poison didn’t do much, but now you start whisking; you believe the negative thing this person said to you and all of a sudden, your white frosting turns completely pink. The inner critic’s red poison has now spread. Your what-was-once-white brain is now a slight shade of pink. We weren’t born with the red poison in our brains; but as we get older and older, more and more red poison gets dropped in to our bowl of frosting, and what do we do? We whisk even harder. We take to heart what people say about us and about how we should be/act. Before we know it, our entire bowl of frosting is as red as an apple. Eventually we forget the frosting was even white to begin with. We just whisk away day after day, thinking we just must be made up of red frosting after all. I’m here to tell you that that is garbage; all complete garbage. You are not made up of red frosting. Every single drop of red poison throughout your life has attempted to convince you against your white-frosting nature. First there was the person who made you feel like you are not good enough, like you could never make it. Then the person who made you feel like you weren’t worthy of attention. Next the event that made you feel like you’re a loser and should stop trying. Oh, and don’t forget the people who didn’t want you in their life and made you feel worthy of rejection. Every single event or person of this kind were part of the red poison. Over time, their voices became your CEO voice and you convinced yourself you were red. Guess what: you are not red. You are white frosting.
This is all you must know for the first step of The BrainLids Method. You must whole-heartedly believe that you are not that mean voice in your head that tells you you’re in everybody’s way and you don’t have what it takes to pursue that one dream. You must tell yourself in this moment that the the red poison, the inner critic, is not the real you. You are meant to have a brain that is pure, supportive, and on your side.
Well okay crazy frosting lady, but how does this actually work in the brain?
Your brain has a superpower. This superpower is its ability to change itself, A.K.A. brain plasticity (which I talked about in this podcast). When you are young, you normally hear that your brain is like a “sponge” for information since it is able to rapidly change and learn. Although this is definitely true when you are young, researchers have also found that it is true when you are older to a greater extent than we had originally thought. Your brain is always changing; always wiring and re-wiring. Every single thought, word, sound, and image that pops in your brain causes neurons to fire together. If enough neurons fire together for extended periods of time, those neurons will wire together. What does this mean for us? This means that if you have a critical, demeaning thought or hear a negative, judgmental comment (red poison) and you keep choosing to think about it (whisking it around), one day you will believe it is true. Why? Because you have fired this thought so many times in your brain that the thought “I am not smart enough” has wired itself into your brain. Now every time something happens that “proves” you are not smart enough, what do you do? You whisk some more. You keep firing and wiring “I am not smart enough” and the thought gets even stronger. This is how our brain works. It doesn’t care if you really ARE smart enough or really ARE capable of achieving your dreams, it just fires and wires however you let it. Now I know that at this point some of you might be freaked and think, “Well crap. I wired together this huge mess, I must be DOOMED”. Okay woah. First of all, you will not fire and wire together that toxic thought pattern on my watch. Second of all, this is not the case. Why Lidia? Because the moment you become AWARE that the negative inner critic is just a bunch of firing/wiring of thoughts that were never yours to begin with, is the moment you can eradicate it.
Simply by reading this far you have already planted the seed in your brain that you are not the inner critic; your brain is not the red frosting. By reading these sentences you are already becoming aware to the point where the grips of the inner critic’s poison can begin to weaken. So congratulations to you, this is the first step of The BrainLids Method; being aware that your brain is not the red frosting, remembering that you were meant to be white frosting, and believing that it is possible to change your brain back to the white frosting once again. Even if it means dumping out the red frosting and starting the frosting-making process all over again. Or you can eat it all if you want. Best way out is through, right? (and no, I am not suggesting you eat your brain, ya lil’ nasty.)
Well why does my brain do that? Why can’t it just stay white all the time?
As I mentioned in the first podcast of BrainLids, our brains have an innate negativity bias, meaning we are wired to focus more on the negative things in our environment. We had to be wired this way in order for our ancestors to stay alive and pass on our genes. If they didn’t focus on all the threats in the environment and weren’t constantly planning ahead to avoid threats and maximize a good outcome, we would very likely not be here. With this in mind, we can’t be too salty that we have a negativity bias. I mean after all, they survived through some serious shit. (Mammoths and famines?? I’ll give it to them). But knowing what we know now, it is our responsibility to get our brains back to a healthy baseline.
The reason the inner critic is born is not because of this negativity bias; the negativity bias I speak of was created to respond to actual, REAL threats in the environment (think terrifying snake, crazy drunk dude in the back ally, falling sack of potatoes). Where we go wrong is that we begin treating WORDS as threats. That is something very unique to human beings. If you go call a turtle a pathetic jerk, he is not going to give a hoot. But if someone calls you a jerk and you have a red-poisoned brain, those words are going to be perceived as a massive threat. The only reason they are seen as threat though is because your poisoned brain believes the words. If you believe them, the threat-detection system in your brain will work its magic and begin to perceive the person who said those words as if they are a threat. We are really good at dealing with threats (so *cue resentment towards that person*).
Maybe you’re asking yourself, “Well how else am I supposed to deal with that red poison? Their negative words have already been dropped in my bowl of frosting so I must be doomed.”.
Well… you either
a) whisk the drop of red poison in your frosting and let the inner critic win, or
b) you scoop that little drop of red poison, you toss it out, and your frosting remains white as snow.
The choice is yours.
Step 1: Be aware.
The frosting is white, not red.
Why should I do that?
Because if you want to change something about your brain, you must first admit that you are aware of what is happening. Once you become aware, that thing immediately begins to weaken and can eventually be fully eradicated.
How do I do that?
You tell yourself out loud:
o “I am aware that I am not my inner critic.”
o “I am aware that I have been dyed with the poison of the inner critic.”
o “I am aware that my brain was not meant to be in a red, scared, demeaning state, but rather in a white, supportive, loving state.”
o “I am aware that when I am mean to myself or I am scared and anxious, it is the inner critic’s red poison talking, not the real me.”
o “I am aware that I am capable of eradicating my inner critic.”
o “I am aware that I am capable of eradicating these negative thoughts.”
o “I am aware that I have the power to change my brain’s bias from a negative one to a positive one.”
o “I can, and I will do all these things.”
It doesn’t really matter if you feel silly saying all of these things. I feel silly all the time with this stuff, but I stick it through enough until it works like magic. Your brain is listening to your every thought and every word. If you repeat these statements to yourself and you use your CEO inner voice to begin to make these positive changes, it will eventually become addicted to being positive, and that red food dye won’t be able to leave a single mark on your white frosting brain ever again. Like always, the choice is yours.
Until next time.
p.s. Here is The BrainLids Method Step 2!