What an incredible night at my 1st improv show and afterwards with people from the theater

Such genuine, creative, passionate, hilarious people

So many lessons from the night:

  • I am here to serve 
  • Costa Rica feels selfish
  • Remember and re-implement Artists Way (Artist Dates)
  • Let a higher consciousness flow through you while improving
  • Release resistance to apps like Hinge 
  • Work on the 17 UN problems
  • You can’t solve this alone
  • Group consciousness so much stronger than individual consciousness 
  • Find your unique ability and do that— doesn’t mean everything you’re excellent at

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I really should just go for it and start my healing center/space. 

I don’t need any more degrees. I think I’m just scared!

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What if this phase isn’t about moving forward with my career at all, it’s just about getting GROUNDED — spiritually, financially, mentally, physically, emotionally…..

  • Savings
  • Codependency
  • Consciousness
  • Body/health habits 
  • Nervous system (comfort from routine I haven’t had for a while)

I’m still on the Physiology and Safety levels of the hierarchy and that’s okay!

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Especially focusing on my Aryuvedic profile, on creating the lifestyle/food habits that resonate most with Pitta

Aryuveda is amazing dude

I want to study the hell out of it

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I’m sad I wasted 600 dollars on plane tickets and school stuff that I won’t even be using …. money I could’ve used for rent, but that my anxious ego used impulsively 

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I’m way too sensitive dude 

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It feels like I’m not even here to enjoy myself though, but only to help, to serve

Going to Costa Rica feels selfish, I don’t think I should do it

I should stay here and just open the center. 

Why am I so hesitant to open to center? 

I don’t need another degree, more experience, more clout. I just need to let God work through me and create it

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Sometimes I’m like, why even participate in this drama at all

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“The most potent muse of all is our inner child” -Stephen Nachmanovitch

How I feel doing improv comedy!!!!!!!!

My god I love it so much it hurts lmao

Such incredible, creative, hilarious people who are all in it too

So supportive, genuine and kind

Ugh 

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Really want to live alone (for now)

  • With hella plants
  • with my German shepherd 
  • With towers of books and candles
  • An annoying amount of incense sticks
  • Art work spattered along the walls of the human body, the universe, and Creation
  • Sweet music filling the space
  • Lots of natural light

Future home:

  • A bird
  • A dog
  • A horse
  • A pig
  • A husband
  • Lots of books
  • A huge garden
  • A zen room
  • An amazing speaker system
  • A throw wheel
  • A tight-knit, genuine, kind, intelligent group of friends
  • A fireplace
  • A book writing room 
  • A coffee pot
  • Fresh flowers and plants everywhere 

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I feel like living at home is re-kindling my insecurities but I don’t want to use that as an excuse to not do the inner work

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I have all the plans for the center and the programs in it I don’t understand what is stopping me from just doing it

Which limiting beliefs?

  • I’m too young
  • I don’t know enough
  • I don’t have enough degrees/credentials
  • I don’t know enough people
  • Who will believe in me enough to come
  • Who will believe in me enough to invest
  • What if it doesn’t make any sense
  • What if it doesn’t help

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Ah it seems perhaps the Contrast of my Reality book might be the one

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Why am I so resistant to continuing podcasts?

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Came across this quote again

“The places where you have the biggest challenges in your life become the places where you have the most to give.”

Ay dios mio lol of course!!!!!

My biggest challenges:

  1. Discernment
  2. Intuition
  3. Decision-making
  4. Listening to my soul
  5. Listening to God
  6. Trusting the Universe
  7. Trusting the divine plan
  8. Feeling safe/comfortable
  9. Holding my ego back from pursuing external things for value, significance, worthiness
  10. Identification with anything in 3D
  11. Self doubt
  12. Creating an internal peaceful home within 
  13. Black or white thinking 
  14. My programming/belief system not aligned with my truth 
  15. Being okay with uncertainty
  16. Codependency
  17. Self judgment (inner critic)

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No naturopathic medicine

No clinical psychology

No counseling

No doctorates 

No more pursuit of higher degrees (at least right now)

None of it feels quite right, I end up doubting every single one

I think I just need to put the idea of more degrees all aside and just pursue the center, pursue my business/projects/organization ideas

Scary af !!!

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I feel good about the updated BrainLids site

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The intention can’t be to “eradicate suffering” though… some people are going through suffering “for a reason” so coming at it from an angle of anger, aggression, or desperation to “save souls” is not the right approach 

It’s not martyrdom

There has to be a gentle grace with which you help others

A knowing that only those who are ready to/have planned to hear a certain piece of information, or to be healed/awakened, will do so…

It is not everyone’s time to heal, not everyone’s time to wake up, not everyone’s time to raise in consciousness

There will eternally be a frustration if we strive to force it upon others and get frustrated when it doesn’t stick

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What a beautiful exchange in the coffee shop of two souls sharing their gifts

We’ll see what the Universe has in store for that interaction 

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Mercury Retrograde is fucking rocking my shit lol

  • Heights of OCD
  • Heights of enlightened bliss
  • So many questions spurted
  • So many questions answered 
  • So many ideas purged
  • So much money lost LMAOOOOO
  • So many old projects forcing themselves to re-kindle
  • So many juicy interactions

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My sweet Jesus this Moroccan iced mint tea is juice of the gods

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I’m so grateful for all the friends and people in my life (including strangers) who have had to deal with my fickle mind in terms of what I’m doing with my life school and career-wise. 

Ugh I love friends 😭

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OCD trigger —> pray, refocus, turn in focus on consciousness 

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It’s sad that, as I’m talking to clients working in schools, I hesitate saying “shoot for” because shoot can be triggering to some considering our mess with schools lately 🙁

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Current life focus: Grounding & Playing. 

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Nervous system is very shaken up right now with fam stuff

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When nice humans give you free drinks 🙁

Ugh I love people

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88 degrees here in Phoenix on the 8th of November. We sweatin’ AND listening to Christmas music. A beautiful juxtaposition. I <3 u Phx. 

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I like helping people organize their lives that are going through a really tough time. Bringing comfort, clarity, ease, God, strength to the difficult time. Helping them to clarify what is happening and why (i.e. emotional/mental causes of illness Louise Hay)

 

Almost like ‘Navigating the Heavy Waters’ coach

 

Let me help you as you build the perfect sail, learn to sail, and decide where your boat is going

 

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Jesus teach me to be like you. Show me. 

 

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Avoidance is just a habit— the avoidance of uncomfortable messages, long messages, people, situations, emotions…

 

it’s merely a matter of having the courage/self-discipline to confront the uncomfortable and make it a habit

 

And as always, having the patience and self-compassion with yourself when sometimes the old habit has a hard time un-wiring itself from your brain

the habit of avoidance of the uncomfortable/pain is an evolutionary program, so it will take effort and fortitude, but it is possible.

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Lol God has a sense of humor.

As I typed “patience”, the song in this coffee shop said “patiently” 😉

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We all repeat the Golden Rule like it’s the most obvious thing in the world, but how many of us really apply it? 

 

I like to look at it as: “Do not do to others what you wouldn’t like done to you”

 

That clarifies a lot for me right now as to where I’m supposed to be/live.

 

And Jesus nailed it (lol) with this because of the truth that we are all One, all extensions of the same consciousness

so doing something to another entails doing it to yourself. 

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With my issue with impulsivity it might be a really good idea to, before committing to anything or making any decision, telling somebody that I’ll think about it and get back to them

 

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What a powerful session with my women’s circle 

 

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Say Yes to your reality, to what the Now presents, but don’t have to say yes to the actor in the reality… resisting vs allowing…surrendering to the Now vs controlling 

 

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It’s crazy how in moments like these tonight at my women’s circle and in moments like when I’m in a meeting with a future academic mentor that it’s like I have no choice in the matter of what happens, what comes out of my mouth.. 

 

like God takes over my consciousness completely and is really particular, clear, strict, eloquent and powerful so as to make something happen regardless of any of my ego’s insecurities or inner child’s pain 

 

it’s as if I’m just for that instant when he really need something to happen, I’m completely out of my own way and able to allow that to happen 

 

it’s a really cool feeling, one that you know that you’re going to be supported

 

Feel like i was meant to do group therapy of sorts

 

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One of my main apprehensions with writing a book is that if you’re trying to give spiritual advice or share spiritual teachings and your ego really isn’t cleared, you’re going to be giving misleading and incorrect advice and it’s going to confuse people

 

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“I am safe in this moment now” helped me feel so safe when my ego creeped in about future anxiety while talking to others tonight

 

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I know God is working through me when this morning I have the urge to put business cards in my wallet and then 2 people randomly for the first time probably ever ask me for a business card for BrainLids

 

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How to tell if ego or soul 

 

That’s the question of all questions 

 

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